When Michael and I finally started our IVF journey we had to have a LOT of conversations. Not limited to what happens to our embryos if one of us dies, we get divorced, if both of us die and so on.... we also talked about testing them. I felt strongly that since our insurance only covered two rounds it would save us the heartache of implanting an embryo that had chromosomal abnormalities. Neither of us tested positive for any genetic markers, so I felt safe assuming our offspring would not inherit anything weird from us. So we settled on PGT-A.
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“PGT-A, or preimplantation genetic testing for aneuploidies (abnormals), is a genetic test performed on embryos produced through IVF. PGT-A gives information about embryos’ genetic health to help your care team select the best embryo for transfer and improve your chance of achieving a successful pregnancy.”
- Cooper Genomics
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How Preimplantation Genetic Screening (PGS) Works
Admittedly, I hadn’t REALLY done much in depth research. I just trusted it, well because... science.... right? Plus, since a natural pregnancy has been so rudely stripped away from us, with the testing, we’d additionally have the option of selecting the sex of the baby... so we thought it was a consolation prize of sorts... you know, for all our heartache.
Even though my clinic said it was unnecessary and it was an out of pocket expense for us (averaging about $3500 on top of our already high deductible) we.... well I, felt like it was priceless and would surely help us decide on the best embryos to transfer (because I was also certain we’d have so many to choose from 😑). However If you’ve read our retrieval story HERE or followed us on Instagram you’ll know that wasn’t exactly the case. It was a hard lesson in comparing myself to others and overconfidence, but that’s neither here nor there. We were lucky enough to have completed this cycle with two beautiful embryos, which were sent off to the lab for testing. And then we wait..... we were told 7-10 business... or so we thought.
The lab received our biopsies on February 11th and at about 4pm on February 14th the phone rang. It was my clinic - since it had been such a short amount of time I assumed it was a check in call - but as soon as I heard my doctors voice I knew it was more. I frantically left my desk and looked for Mike while I was listening to the Doctor tell me the results were in and we should be very happy. Again I was optimistic.... until he dropped a bomb. When will I learn.
The results.... we had one normal and one mosaic. At this point I had to stop looking for Mike... because honestly I just needed to focus. I stepped outside into the brisk February air... no jacket and just listened.
He described the results and assured me that even though one had come back with mixed results it could still result in a completely healthy pregnancy and a normal baby. He told me that EVERY DAY they implant embryos, just like mine, strong healthy looking embryos that made it through the “grow”, that don’t have all that “fancy testing” and they are perfectly fine. Although it may carry a slightly lower chance of implantation, he wouldn’t suggest discarding it unless we only wanted perfection.
Somewhere in the middle of his spiel Michael appeared and I put the phone on speaker, shivering, while the doctor finished. Although deflated... I felt a pang of hope. He described the next steps.... we’ll schedule a transfer next month, the normal one first he’d suggest... and the other as a back up since most likely our insurance provider wouldn’t approve another round to “bank” embryos.
My last question to the Doctor.... the sexes.
Normal : boy
Mosaic : girl
One of each... our perfect pair... our babies.
So, you ask... why this post is labeled “Why I regret testing”? Simple, it has given us a third layer of confusion, doubt, and anxiety that we wouldn’t have had if we just trusted our doctor and gone with God. These two beautiful embryos that he provided us with would not have caused us to second-guess ourselves. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, if my precious daughter takes, I will always wonder if an illness, setback, or worse is my fault because I chose to bring her life into this world. Because I had the information before that something might be wrong. The research is so under developed right now and frankly, based on just the small amount of reading we’ve been able to do in the last 24 hours, downright faulty at times. We have to just go with our heart.
For now, we’re going to do everything we can to learn, to fight and prepare for both our babes. We’re looking forward to a discussion with a geneticist about the specific discrepancies but so far we’ve joined some support groups and we’ve talked to so many inspiring people and have found NOTHING but positive news.
As always please keep us in your thoughts and keep our baby boy and our baby girl in your prayers. Part two to come...
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